A Word To The Wise

139. #KeepItWise: The True Essence of Self-Worth

• Jummie Moses • Season 1 • Episode 139

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This keep it wise segment is a clip from episode 56,  on Self-Worth and Being Extraordinary Ft. Christine Baird.

In this clip we explore the subtle distinction between feeling proud of our accomplishments and embracing the worth that is our birthright, regardless of accolades or achievements.

For anyone who's felt adrift in their own self-perception, this episode serves as guide for us back to the profound self-love that has always been within us, waiting to be reclaimed.

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Speaker 1:

I think the whole idea of self-worth is such a. It's such a common word, but it's not something people talk about a lot, or maybe they do in different ways. Like, people talk about self-love and all that stuff and self-care, and I kind of all think they're part of this like larger story about, like how do I really, how do I, you know, stay proud of myself even when I'm not the best version of myself, or as I'm working towards being the best version of myself? How do I stay confident? So I'm curious how you would define self-worth, because when I think of self-worth, you know I think of like self-esteem. So would you think, do you think the same or do you have like a more?

Speaker 2:

in-depth. Definitely self-worth? That's a great question. I have thought a lot about this. I mean, I'm always learning and I think there maybe is a slight distinguishment between self-worth and self-esteem. They're very close.

Speaker 2:

Self-esteem, in my mind, is kind of the regard we hold ourselves in kind of comparative to our circumstances. Right, it's like, well, I know what I'm going through, I know what I can bring to the table, I respect myself. I think a lot about self-esteem is self-respect, like I understand what I've got to work with, I understand what I offer. You know I can respect myself.

Speaker 2:

Self-worth, I think, is a kind of layer deeper. It kind of gets into that really tender, really vulnerable, really childlike zone where we remember and we sort of realize oh yeah, when I was a kid like kind of my earliest memories for most of us I loved myself and I appreciated myself and I valued myself, literally independent of any kind of like results or merit right, sort of that time before we could perform, before we could prove we had an understanding of our own worth and of others' worth, right. I really think children are the teachers here. I often like, when I'm around, like my niece's is at nephew's or my friend's kids, I'm always like kind of not in a weird way, but I'm like quietly observing them and I'm like, wow, they get it.

Speaker 2:

Because I really do believe that Like we come into this world with an innate understanding of how full of worth we are and every other human, and then over time we have all these experiences that kind of erodes that and distracts us and breaks us down. We all go through stuff. So self-worth to me is like a very deep self-love. It's a very deep appreciation for who we are at the core and we see that mirrored back in everyone around us. So that to me is kind of my working definition of self-worth and I'm constantly learning more. I don't think it's like a fixed definition. I keep kind of finding new layers to it. So that's the current version, but I mean maybe in a year I'll have another one.

Speaker 1:

That's a great version and I think you touched on a very important point. I think it's a lifelong journey and obviously the definition is going to take different shapes depending on where you are in your life, but you said something that really stuck out to me relating to like not feeling like. You have to prove yourself, because I think as we get older, we have all these expectations from society and then we also create expectations for ourselves and I think we tend to get in our own heads and sometimes, funny enough, we can be our harshest critics and really devalue ourselves when nobody else is really devaluing us and just feeling like we're not good enough.

Speaker 1:

So I know that you're on this journey, but I just wonder, you know, how can people who are struggling to find their self-worth, how can they start on that journey? What tips do you have for them to kind?

Speaker 2:

of find their self-worth. I love that, because one of the things that I've learned so far is we don't find our self-worth, we don't like discover it. We remember it, and it took me a while to understand that I used to say the same thing. I was like oh, I'm on a journey to learn my self-worth. I can't remember what I'd say, but every time I was like no, christine, it's a remembering. Like this whole concept is built on the idea that I came into the world knowing this and if you believe in like you know we existed before. Maybe you're a past life or something like it might already be embedded in our system, and so that's really helped me and hopefully it'll help anyone listening who's like oh my gosh, these guys, I'm light years from owning my worth. I get it. I mean, I've had some pretty low self-worth moments, but I think that's a key to start. It's about remembering what we already know, and that takes some time.

Speaker 2:

Usually, if it's hard to even wrap your head around this concept right now, the first step is to be really kind to yourself, really compassionate, and start to just very slowly, as you're ready, kind of dig deep and start to let yourself unpack, like what has made me forget how worthful I felt when I was a kid, or kind of your happiest memories. If you can go back into the early days, what has blocked me from that? And oftentimes this is going to not going to be pretty Right. This is where the pains, the traumas, the disappointments, the heartbreaks are going to come up, kind of those difficult moments we've all faced. And I think that's where we can start is say it's okay to go back in here and start to unpack and realize like, oh yeah, that story I made up when I was such and such age and I got that feedback from my parent, my teacher, my coach, when that really really rough things happened and I decided it was my fault.

Speaker 2:

And that's, I think, a starting place, because then it's a matter of not having to like climb Mount Everest by like learning some you know nirvana kind of concept. It's like, oh okay, if I know, I knew this at one time, how can I kind of trace my steps back? So I would start there and, just like I said, be super kind to yourself because, likely it's not, some tough stuff is going to come up. You might need to have some good cries, you might need to do some journaling. But every time I've ever worked with you know a coach, or read a book or listen to a podcast, that got me kind of a step closer. It always kind of allowed me to say, hey, it's okay that I've forgotten some of these parts of myself, Like I don't need to judge that I've done that. But this is where the remembering begins.

Speaker 1:

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